Category Archives: Rants

Rants and miscellaneous topics

Corruption and Mental Health

As most who know me personally know, repeated attacks to my physical and mental health in the form of predatory and corrupt practices by law enforcement in Ohio, Virginia, and North Carolina has caused me to suffer for many years from PTSD, depression, anxiety, neuropathy, and extreme chronic pain. I, like many, had dealt with the occasional false traffic ticket – fuel for the lawyers, one of the reason Shakespeare had such glowing words for them – and I went to court and faced them, always. Those who know my upbringing (living with a polygraph and a P.S.E in my house, along with the most capable and adept examiner for both instruments on the planet) know I always make the truth my winning answer. I was raised in a military/law enforcement/intelligence household. I was taught to respect the truth and the intent of the law, if not the letter, as the unjust do not deserve respect. In that way, I inherited the mores and ethics of my grandfather. And those that know me, know how pissed I get when I see those institutions fuck over the common man for nothing more than greed or the narcissistic need for control. I was raised to expect a higher standard, and when I see it used against people, including myself, who take time and effort to obey the law and believe in truth made out to be criminals and liars, all for the sake of a buck.
This may have been the reason why I was affected so deeply when I had my life threatened by a Virginia State Police Trooper when I asked if I could have a copy of the witness list after suffering a forward ejection through the sunroof of an SUV. I had suffered injuries that, had it not been for the timely intervention of the EMT’s, could have left me paralyzed had the Trooper been allowed to carry out his intent. I became a hermit for seven years after this event, four of which were spent learning to walk without screaming. I still cannot see flashing lights on the highway without suffering an extreme panic attack. The mere sight of police cars can do the same, and having to deal with courtrooms in any capacity affects me for days before and after.
Later, I moved to Ohio as a result of a relationship with my future ex-wife (another story entirely) and that move proved to be the start of a chain reaction of encounters that further traumatized me. Three days after the birth of my third daughter, a TRAP syndrome birth that cost us her twin, I returned home from the hospital (an hour and half drive through freezing roads and black ice) to find I had taken the wrong bag home with me, and had to return my wife’s meds. So back I go, knowing I have to do another round trip in these conditions, when in Rising Sun, Ohio, I see a police car approaching from the opposite direction. Seeing an approaching change in the speed limit, I see the car turn around behind me, despite me doing the speed limit, and as I change my speed in time with the sign, I get pulled over. I get searched, and despite my being truthful about the meds, I get charged with possession, thrown into the back of a police car, re-injuring my back, and I get to listen as this ass and his buddy talk with glee about how many charges they can hit me with. In court, they dropped the charges when I told them every person who transports meds for terminal and/or handicapped people would like to know about my experience. I was thrown in jail after I slipped a disc in my back while on a walk with my child for 37 days – 7 days beyond the limit of their ridiculous charge – because I was swearing at an umbrella stroller’s inability to traverse the crappy sidewalks of Fostoria, Ohio, and laid in jail passing in and out of consciousness for 3 days before I even got looked at by medical, and humiliated by double-digit IQ goons the entire time.
For cursing at a stroller.
Having enough of this shit, I moved to North Carolina. I wanted to eventually move us closer to the Outer Banks. There, I encountered pretty much the same treatment.
One day, while driving to the store about two week after moving, my toddler daughter started to choke in the back seat. We were stuck in slow moving traffic in a school zone, and there was not room for me to pull over in order to help her. Her mother decided to unbuckle her seat belt in order to help her as I spotted two motorcycle cops in the median. I tell her to hurry, because we are going to be pulled over. When asked if I’m speeding, I tell her no (I wasn’t), but we had an out of state license plate, and that was pretty much a free meal ticket to them. Sure enough, we are pulled over, and not allowed to tend to our choking daughter as the cop explains how easy it will be to pay the ticket. Not only that, this goon says I was doing 40 mph, which was mathematically impossible, as I would have to be doing a minimum of 14 feet/second more than any car around me. At the hearing, the prosecutor laughed in my face when I said I would be pleading not guilty, had a cop who couldn’t remember what vehicle he was driving that day, had my daughter and now ex insulted in the court room, and was still found guilty.
And this is typical of my experiences over the last almost 20 years. Without fail.
Driving at all became an exercise in anxiety. I’m hyper-vigilant behind the wheel. I never speed. Have never driven intoxicated. For that reason, I’m never in a hurry when I drive. I always wear my seat belt, etc, etc.
And it still isn’t enough, because you can get pulled over and accused of something you have taken the time and effort to do right, and one way or the other, you’re going to have money yanked out of you.
Case in point:
After my ex revealed the extent of her narcissistic abuse, I once again became a hermit, as those dealings with the system did nothing but exacerbate and heighten all my symptoms, both physical and psychological. For several years, I would only drive when absolutely necessary, never driving more than 20 miles or so away from my home.
This changed in September, 2020. I had met a friend online through a support group, and continued to chat with her online as she battled colon cancer. She would be going into hospice, and I promised to visit her in person, as she had had few visitors in the recent weeks. From my previous experiences, I knew it would be a risk, but all I could do was drive the speed limit, and hope for the best.
And, wouldn’t you know it, despite all the above, I still get pulled over, and told I’m doing some ridiculous speed that I would never do on an unfamiliar curving country road.
Not only that, but the courts decide to mail out the notice of the trial the day after it occurs, effectively denying me any chance to appear in court.
And people wonder why I’m a hermit.
Now you know.

Update: 8-5-2021

Greetings,

I can’t believe it’s already been 3 months since my last update.
Wait…
Yes I can.
Repeated abuses, both by the travesty we have as a court system, and as either a direct or indirect result of actions by my cheating ex, has affected me all levels: physical, emotional, intellectual, and financial. Time has become very strange, as I can no longer maintain a normal sleep pattern due to anxiety and depression (not without a shit-ton of meds, which I can’t afford anyway), and the combined effects have made life difficult for me in a multitude of ways. I lose track of days, events, and thoughts now, when I never did before. The difference is substantial, and time has become like a rubber band. 5 days can seem like 1 long work day. Sometimes 1 day seems like 3. I no longer pay my bills on time – haven’t for months. The only thing, and I mean this quite literally, that I get right is being on time for my visitation, and even that requires more energy than it should.
Every time I have tried to heal, the sources of the original pain and injuries reappear to fuck with my life again, and further exascerbate my injuries – namely, the joke that we call the legal system in this country. Don’t be stupid enough to let anyone convince you that any part of our government is here to serve the people. I know you WANT to believe that…you are TOLD to believe that…and then those that comprise that entity reveal themselves to be greedy, narcissistic, pedophilic sociopaths – and we just go right along with our day and ignore it.
Sadly, I can’t.
I was raised to believe in certain things, and when I am forced to live in a corruption of that ideal, and that corruption affects my life on a very real level, it just cannot be ignored. I have suffered PTSD since 2002 – the source? A Virginia State Trooper threatened my life when I politely asked for a copy of the witness list after suffering a forward ejection through the sunroof of an SUV that was flipping over at 40 mph. Had it not been for the EMT’s that showed up at that moment, that narcissistic bully with a badge may have ended my life. EVERY single encounter I have had with the system since then, has been of equal ridiculousness, been equally corrupt, been morally and ethically wrong, and an egregious misuse of the authority GIVEN to these people (the fact it is given seems to have been forgotten).
I have been writing, however. I write because it’s the only outlet I have. The state, in collusion with my ex, were complicit in assault, battery, perjury, kidnapping, defamation, misrepresentation, adultery, and extortion. This left me pretty much without the means to do much else, so I do the best I can with what I have. It isn’t easy, living every moment of every day in outrage and indignation, of seeing the principles I was raised on become as useless as wedding vows, of having double-digit IQ nimrods abuse you physically and emotionally – just because they have the immunity to do so.
And we, as normal citizens, normally do not have the means to strike back. But I CAN write.
And I will.
My non-fiction work may get me sued. I don’t care. I’ll have all the transcripts, texts, emails, and other evidence to back it up. I’ve decided, you see, that if I cannot win against the shit-show that is our government, the lease I can do is continue to tell the truth. This will be sure to make some ass-fucks upset. Too bad. It’s my life, and I’ll tell the facts of it, one way or another. If they didn’t want their deeds exposed, don’t do the shit to begin with – pretty simple, right?
So, every interaction I have is now recorded, names taken, details noted. I may not be able to avoid the damage caused by the incompetance, greed, and sheer sociopathy I encounter in our ‘authority’ figures and institutions, but I can sure as fuck expose it.

Until next time,

~Namaste

Revealing Insults

Greetings,

I recently have been doing more stuff on social media again, as I try to follow any marketing path for my writing that does not involve expenditures I cannot currently afford.  i know I should stick to advertising and marketing related posts, but there are some subjects, such as narcissistic and domestic abuse, that can stir me to make a comment.  Because of my own history of being a victim of both, I will occasionally comment on the gender-bias and stigmas males face in this area.  I advise them to run, do not walk, to the nearest exit and take any and all legal steps to protect themselves.

l should know better, but…

So, naturally, whenever I make these sorts of comments, it is inevitable that some feminazi will call me an ‘incel’.  This is a revealing insult, and says much about those making it:

  1.  It says the person making the insult is offended by the notion any man can choose not to be swayed by feminine wiles.  Is that all this person has to offer?
  2.  It reveals the person does not actually believe in equality, which is always the crux of my comments, but believes in superiority.
  3. It implies that anyone suggesting men stay single in a gender-biased society is involuntarily celibate, by definition, as if they are weak or somehow inferior in the eyes of women, or have nothing to offer, which is sexist as all hell, and could not be further from the truth.
  4. It states the person is fine with double standards and inequality, as long as they can bitch about it.
  5. They show their own gender-bias in terms of domestic and narcissistic abuse; it’s okay for women to abuse men, but any man that abuses a woman is a monster.  This staggers my mind, actually.  Abuse is abuse, and equally evil regardless of gender.

And those are just the first few things to spring to mind.  It would seem to me that maybe these people may have lost a few relationships because they were emasculating bitches.  Just sayin’.

Yes, I am now a hermit.  After suffering a decade of emotional and other abuse, I chose to take myself out of the game. There’s nothing involuntary about it, and it’s not an easy choice for me, as anyone who knows me (and knows my libido) can attest.  I actually love women…a lot.  There are more than one I’ve pined for, and still do, but when your life has been devastated as mine has, the priority is repairing the damage, and making sure it never happens again.  For me, the choice was clear, if not welcome.  On the upside, however, such comments show me that I made the right choice.

Just another rant.  Thanks for reading.

Until next time…

~Namaste

2021: From Bad to Worse?

Greetings,

Well, here it is, the last day of 2020. I’d like to say I was happy for it to be over, that I was confident the coming year will prove to be a good one for all, but that is simply not true. What I see coming is more of the same shit – both for me and everyone else impacted by the strange world we now find ourselves in. More lockdowns, more authoritarianism than you can shake a stick at, more division as the carefully orchestrated political and social engineering continues its inexorable path toward extinction of our freedom, and those on the right reveal their true sociopathic nature.
Not that the left is really any better. Biden showed his true colors today when he appointed ‘Mr. Monsanto’ as head of the USDA. This does not bode well, nor does the news he plans on trying to ‘work with’ the same sociopaths that have tried their best to help the orange idiot currently in the White House stage a coup, and who repeatedly have shown themselves to nothing but puppets for corporations and the narcissists that own and run them.
If we, as a people, do not get our priorities straight in the coming year, if we do not realize just how rotten the system has become, and begin to take steps to correct it, then things will continue to get worse. It would be nice if we could correct things, cut out the infection, before it kills the patient, but I fear things will continue to spiral until it collapses, and we will once again be forced to rise from the ashes. The powerful are taking steps to make sure only they survive, so it is in the best interest of everyone else to make sure this does not happen, in my opinion.
For me, personally, I see 2021 as a year wherein I may finish 2 or possibly three books, which is a good thing creatively, but financially, I know things will be harder, as they will likely be for everyone. I do not market my books as I should; I’m too busy writing and designing in addition to the other hats I’m required to wear, and this is not likely to change in the coming year. If anything, things will most likely be even busier, the struggle to survive harder, and the returns even more sparse.
A grim picture, overall. For me, as a victim of emotional abuse and a gender-biased and corrupt court system, I have found little to know help for the physical and mental damage that continues to plague me. Anxiety and depression are rampant these days, and for me, the abuse I suffered exacerbated both these conditions. The next year is sure to have me facing these with increased severity, and the only means I have to combat them are my creative pursuits and the company of my little girl.
Hopefully, they will be enough.
I give my best wishes to all my friends, and to the world at large, and hope they have a happier year in the coming days than what they were given in 2020. One thing is for sure – in order to have a brighter future, we will all need to work toward it.

Until Next Time –

Three Years

It was three years ago today that a narcissist had me jailed for a crime I did not commit in order to get custody of my daughter, and made the court system of Virginia complicit in a multitude of crimes, including perjury, larceny, adultery, assault, battery, and general domestic abuse, and kidnapping. The experience almost killed me, and left me without sensation or mobility on my right side for six weeks.
All so she could chase after a p.o.s. ghetto rat.
I’m sure her parents and other flying monkeys are proud.
I’m certain many will find my language and attitude to be somewhat bitter. Too fucking bad. Facts are facts, and truth stands alone.
The fact of the matter is, it’s always just fine as long as the victim just continues to take the punishment, but heaven forbid if they actually stand up for themselves. This is true for both domestic abuse, and the idiots in the legislature and court system (most likely composed of narcissists themselves) who condone a gender-biased system, and write nebulous laws to feed their for-profit prison systems.
We have a serious problem in this country, a festering infection that has pervaded our society, one born of greed for money and power, and is rotting the very nature of humanity from within and without. I wish I could say this is just a phase, that I feel confident we will elevate ourselves as a society and a species, and improve the human condition, but the signs are not good. I do not think for a moment that the conditions the world is operating in now, just at the time when discontent with both authoritarianism and corporate greed was sweeping the world, a time when the human race was just beginning to wake from their enslavement, was simply a coincidence.
And before anyone wants to use the term ‘conspiracy theory’ in my direction, keep in mind I knew the term was going to be introduced into the American lexicon before it happened. No, I don’t have any confidence things will get better. Watch and see – I’ll bet money things will get worse, and due to the effective programming and social engineering taking place, most will not even know it. They’ll be more than happy to dismiss anyone who knows better, however, and do their best to serve their masters.
As for me, I’ll keep being a free-thinking pain in the ass, thank you very much, and point out the sick, twisted, corrupt shit wherever I find it. I call a spade a spade, boys and girls, and I’m going to keep doing so.
Yes, I have an attitude – the same attitude whenever anyone is victimized by these greedy, narcissistic pieces of shit, whether it is me, or anyone else. Before my life was destroyed by the worst sort of deliberate deception (one I’ll never allow the chance of occurring again), I was more than vocal in my defense against such things, and it is time to be so once again.
At least that is one part of me that wasn’t killed off in the last three years.
This is why I’m writing a book detailing my experiences with my now ex-wife, the court system, and everyone involved in the matter. And I’ll name names. Let them come for me too – they won’t like the result. Darkness never likes having the light shone upon it, and the more they try, the brighter it will get.
There’s my rant for the day. Another day to celebrate with regret, a reminder of the cause of every painful event, of the loss and suffering imposed by that fateful encounter. The day will pass. The effects never will.

Gender Bias vs. Johnny Depp

Greetings all,

Well, this is going to be one of those rants where I say it just like it is, and not give a fuck about who gets offended by what, so strap in and enjoy the ride.
I’m going to start this article by stating flat out that I think the English Domestic Court system is as full of shit as it is on this side of the pond, filled with gender bias and corruption that should earn those responsible a haul over a gravel road via tow chain at fifty miles an hour, and the recent verdict in the recent lawsuit brought Johnny Depp for being accused of being a ‘wife beater’ by The Sun, a British newspaper (although from my experience with the Sun, I use that term lightly).
Now, before any of you get your panties in a bunch for whatever reason, be assured I don’t make this statement as an armchair, knee-jerk, I’m-offended-by-something-on-facebook reaction. As a victim of male domestic abuse, particularly narcissistic abuse by a sociopathic female, I know first-hand of the matters at hand. So, unless your research extends beyond a few YouTube videos or Faux News (what I call the Fox network), save your indignation. Period. I have no tolerance for any form of abuse, domestic or otherwise, but male domestic abuse is something that deserves attention.
There are more cases of male domestic abuse than any of the statistics would suggest. There are multiple reasons for this, the least of which is the social gender roles cast on men to be ‘strong’ and ’emotionally distant’, so the actual number of cases are under-reported. Most cases are not reported at all, and those that are reported are often turned around by the court system to punish the victim. These two factors are among the many that make it a tougher battle for men in domestic court than it does for women (not that women don’t face their own difficulties with a justice system that is basically a contest of who can afford the better lawyer).
The ‘metoo’ movement is an extension of this. I could go into length about my thoughts on this particular issue, but that is a subject for another article. Like most socially engineered topics, this has escalated to the point where any woman can cost a man his job through nothing more than unfounded allegations. I should note here the difference in reactions to such cases of ‘inappropriateness’. Id be interested to see the results if men raised their voice and pursued every inappropriate remark as a case of sexual discrimination, abuse, or whatever, as has seemed to be the case of late with women, but men do not react to such inappropriateness in the same fashion, which is one of many things I feel need to change.
I have been following the case of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, and my experiences with the abuse at the hands of a person with narcissistic personality disorder, along with all the testimony and information available regarding the case, looks to be a classic case of male domestic abuse at the hands of a female covert narcissist. As in my case, multiple former wives and partners testified that Mr. Depp had never gotten physical with them, and tended to suffer a high degree of patience in domestic altercations, which is an indication of the empathetic end of a typical narcissist/empath relationship. Of course, all human beings have limits, and when an empath dares to express any natural emotion in response to their abuse, such as anger, despair, etc, then the narcissist will play the role of the abused. This is a favorite tactic of these nasty, toxic creatures in court, and the court loves to just eat up their performance. Whether this is an effort to pacify those who have learned their political power, or just another line in the program of control that we call society is immaterial: this case had all the earmarks of a case of reactive abuse, and that Ms. Heard was the actual instigator.
Now, as in so many other cases, we have a man whose entire career has been impacted by the simple virtue of being male. This is a common enough occurrence where the increasingly aware population has coined its own campaigns against the illogical practice of believing all allegations of abuse by women, while dismissing any such attempts by men to defend themselves.
This case again underlines the need for more training by the courts on narcissistic abuse, and male domestic abuse in general. More experts need to be involved in the domestic court system. Until this changes, there will continue to be injustices in this arena. This is not equality, and imbalance will inevitably create a backlash. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I can see some unpleasant things in our social future is these imbalances are not corrected, and we cannot come together in terms of justice and equality.
Just a few thoughts, as this hearing affects not only Mr. Depp, but all victims of male domestic abuse.

Until next time,

~Namaste