My Dear Little One,
I had so much fun being with you this weekend. You were a perfect angel the entire time. You have become so good at speaking, and I love talking to you and hearing your voice. You have a beautiful voice, and you even sang once for me. I think you are a wonderful singer, and I hope you enjoy doing it as much as I enjoy hearing it. I think you could get very good one day.
I’m sorry I had to take you back to the babysitter’s today. You grabbed the straps of your car seat and said “I want to stay in Daddy’s car. I want to go with Daddy.” You were crying, and even though I tried to explain to you that I didn’t want to, but had to, I don’t think you understood. I know you don’t understand what is going on right now, which was obvious when I picked you up on Friday, and you ran to me with “Daddy, you found me!” I know you are a creative, smart girl, and though you may find interesting ways of saying things sometimes, you do your best to say what you mean, and that tells me you don’t understand what has happened. That’s okay, little girl. I wouldn’t expect any child your age to understand everything that is going on, and all the reasons why. One day, all will come clear to you, and knowing that makes your Daddy very sad. I want you to know your Daddy did everything he could to keep our little house, and our family together. I do my best these days to keep myself together when I drop you off, but I can tell how much you like being with your dad, and I always end up struggling not to cry when you tell me you want to stay. Today will be a sad one for me, and every time I have to let you go, I cry very hard, and it is very hard to keep smiling so you won’t feel bad at having to leave.
You enjoyed our trips to the beach, as you always do, but it’s much harder taking you when there is only you and me, so I only have a few pictures of our day. I may end up closer to the water – we will see the next time you get to be with me. I think it would be nice to be able to walk to the beach and play, at least during the warmer months. Maybe, one day, we can even go to Daddy’s special beach spot where he first took Mommy, and we can have a tent for you to nap in like we used to do.
I am missing you so badly already. Coming home to you and Mommy was always the best part of my day, along with being able to play with you every day. I know sometimes I got tired, and your Daddy was trying to work toward finding a new job before we lost our house so I could have more time with you, and if things had not fallen apart with your Mommy and I, your life would be different by now. We would still be playing every day together, and Daddy would still be able to share so many of the moments I miss now.
It makes me very happy that you don’t care where we are as long as are together. I know it doesn’t matter where we live, as long as you can play with your Daddy. You surprised me this weekend with how good you are at puzzles. You picked out a paw patrol puzzle that was a panorama of 3 puzzles, and you put the 24 and 48 piece ones together so well! I’ll have more room the next time you visit, and we can build all three. Your ‘papers’ as you call them were fun to do as well, and it shows how creative you can be. You have a fun sense of humor, and I love how you laugh.
It breaks Daddy’s heart that I won’t be able to see you at the end of my day. It will be two whole weeks before I get to see you again. I wish things were different, little one. I wish I could be there to see all the changes, big and little, that you go through as you learn about the world. I love spending my time with you, and hope that we can go on many adventures together in the years to come. For now, I’ll just keep your toys out, and look at your pictures, and hope you are having a happy day.
I love you and I miss you so much.