Sometimes

sometimes this little soul just wants to break free
of all the chains encompassing me
sometimes it just wants to dance and to sing
at the dawn of a day and the chances it brings

other times it wants to run and hide away
from the same old thing, just another day
no revelations, just more of the same
a toss of the dice, in a boring game

sometimes this little heart just wants to know love,
a warmth of emotion that fits like a glove,
sometimes it just wants to feel that need,
to find a way to heal, and not to bleed

At times this life is less than it seems
or perhaps I just live beyond my means
but I keep going on even despite those things
despite all the pain and lonliness it brings

For all those times and more times to come
they’re all we have, until all is done
I’ll reflect on those times, both good and bad,
as being all there was, those times we had

At times I’ll stop and Ill shed some tears
at all the memories of those far ago years
I’ll savor those times, the many and the few,
all those moments I got to spend with you

Just a little something I came up with on the ride home. Sometimes ideas come from out of nowhere, when you least suspect it.

Truth

Truth stands alone, people, and in the coming months, there will be a great amount of it coming out – and it will all be posted here, as well as every site that I own and/or have a membership.
Some things just need to be known.
So yes, keep tuning in – out of curiosity, if nothing else.

~Namaste

Saying Goodbye to 2017

As 2017 comes to a close, I have to say I won’t miss it. I had high hopes for this year, not the least of which would be that it was better than the previous one, but sadly, this fell short, despite everything that I did manage to accomplish. It’s been a hard year, both financially and emotionally, and the past 365 days have left their mark.
Anyone following my writing, my blog, or other social media pages, will know that I haven’t written anything new since publishing my first novel, Highway Hypnosis. In the course of the last year, I switched jobs, going from a technician position to a manager of a retail store (not my particular skill set, as well as finding a new place to live and subsequent moving activity. I’ve been busy rebuilding my art website while this was going on, a slow process now that I spend over 60 hours a week in a soul-killing position, while also tending to family obligations.
Some of these tasks I’ve managed to accomplish with ease; some have been hard-won, and others are still to be determined. The past year has been particularly hard on me emotionally, as events from past years have snowballed to yeti proportions, and I’ve been doing my utmost to deal with those events with as much calm and dexterity as I can muster. This has not been anywhere near as successful as I would have liked – my time away from actively pursuing my martial arts has eroded the careful discipline such continued practice brings, and this has caused me to fall below my own standards of behavior on more than one occasion (and with those, their own share of regret).
So, in short, not a particularly satisfying year. Any occasion where I spend more time tearing down and moving, rather than building toward the present and the future, is wasted time, in my opinion, and I hate wasting time.
I’d like to say that I have hope for 2018, but were I to ask the Magic 8-Ball about the promise of the coming year, the results would likely be “prospects do not look good”. Why? For one, I don’t have time to write much these days, and have been fairly depressed on those few occasions where I did. I have become pretty much what I despise in terms of my job, and am living in uncertain times when it comes to almost every aspect of my life. I haven’t marketed either my novella or my novel, and have no idea when I’ll be able to start writing again. I need to find a way to move closer to the life I’ve wanted all these years, not farther away, and definitely do not need to tear down my life and start over yet again. No, I have to make some fundamental changes for the better in the year to come, and have some persistent problems resolve themselves before I declare any hope for the days to come. Universe – the ball is in your court.

Until next time –

~Namaste

News – June 2017

I haven’t posted for awhile; things have been hectic, and I have had even less time than usual. Much has occurred since my last post, and since said last post promised the date for the release of the final version of my novel without any follow-up, I feel I should begin with the news that Highway Hypnosis is available in both e-book and paperback formats. Simply visit the Novels page to get your copy.

cover art for Highway Hypnosis, a novel by Michael Vain

Highway Hypnosis – Cover

Second on my list of follow-up news concerns the artwork package for the aforementioned novel. Although I had completed the artwork for the last in the series of illustrations for the novel, and transferred it to the canvas board, I have yet to actually begin applying paint. This painting has been in my head for a year now, and the wait has been difficult for me creatively. The reason for this is the same as that behind the fact that I have yet to add to my second novel in roughly the same amount of time. My environment up to now has been difficult, and Michelle and I have been working hard to find a new residence. This took a turn for the worse when the company I worked for in my ‘real job’ played me along for eight months due to the usual personality conflicts that arise between myself and those intimidated by someone with my work ethic. Long story short, I left to find a better job, albeit one that takes up a great deal of my week, and this, combined with looking for a new place to live, has kept us both extremely busy. The upside is that we are scheduled to move soon, and this will provide enough space for all our creative endeavors, including studio space for our painted furniture, which is showcased on my other site, Reincarnations – Painted Furniture and Other Artistic Creations. Once we are settled in, I will be able to complete the final painting, which will be made available to purchasers of the novel. This may take some time, but I will continue to update the project as it progresses.

Among the many other upcoming projects in the pipeline is the redesign of the site. I have already begun the process for my painted furniture site, as I continue to explore various facets of web design, and will be developing some sort of WordPress theme around the current design, so stay tuned for some major changes. Although things have been busy, I foresee an even busier second half of the year. The results will be well worth the effort, and will do my best to post more often.

In the meantime, keep reading, and stay in the Light.

~Namaste

The Perils of Perfectionism

I have always been something of a perfectionist, even when said perfection is obviously unachievable. This is especially true for my creative ventures, and whenever I discover something new, I have a tendency to go back and apply that new knowledge to old projects as well as new ones. Due to this, and the notes supplied to me by my beta-reader, Highway Hypnosis is currently unavailable in paperback. I have already revised the manuscript of several small but personally annoying errors, and will be re-releasing the novel within a few days. I’ll be sure to post as soon as it is available again.

Tim next time,

~Namaste

2017 Is Here

Wow, time sure does fly when you’re having fun, doesn’t it? Actually, it seems to fly regardless of the fun these days. 2016 was pretty much a shit-trifecta for me; the last three years have been particularly trying, financially, emotionally, and physically. I’ve had to endure the loss of my freedom and abuse at the hands of corrupt judges and spiteful court employees who got their panties in a bunch despite being innocent (no Ohio, I haven’t forgotten you), lost my home, suffered through extreme depression, and was forced to face more unpleasantness than I care to relate. Somehow, I managed to get my first paperback into print (after working on the manuscript for over two decades, but that’s another story), prevent myself from living in a box under an overpass, and even find some gainful employment while trying to further my artistic pursuits, but I can honestly say I never want to have to go through such a time again.
2016 was also a nasty year for so many others. We lost a good number of cherished actors, musicians, and other performers from our childhoods, watched as innocent people in Yemen and other nations were slaughtered, and endured a controversial election for our nation’s highest office.
Now, however, the great celestial cycle begins anew, and I can only hope that it will be a more positive year than the one previous. True, it is likely that the next four years will be harder for many, especially financially, for those in creative industries, but I still have hope. With that hope has come a newfound determination that I will not allow the events of the last three years to repeat themselves. I have learned much through those experiences, and will be using that knowledge to safeguard myself against such stressful and unpleasant things in the future. To do this, I will have to become much more proactive in how I deal with such things, and have renewed my determination to produce more creatively in the coming year. These are not resolutions, as they are a refreshing of goals, a renewed zest for making the best of the time I am allowed.
To that end, I am hoping to produce at least one more novel in the coming year. I learned a great deal from publishing my first paperback, and this should save me a great amount of stress and effort in regards to future works. I have about 100 pages of new manuscript, and hope to have the first draft completed by April. Normally, this would be an easy deadline, but having a young child at home puts my time at a premium. Still, I have high hopes that at least one of the writing projects I have on my list will see fruition in the year to come. I’ll be sure to update my blog with updates on current and future projects time goes on.
Also, I am looking into adding some blogs to my site via a Youtube channel. This would give me an opportunity to discuss various topics, give the occasional book review, and update various writing and art projects. This is only in the planning stage at the moment, but I’ll be sure to update those interested with any developments.
Well, that’s it for now. Best New Year’s wishes for everyone!
Until next time, I hope everyone has a wonderful 2017.

~Namaste

First Paperback Release!

My first novel, Highway Hypnosis, has finally been released! It is now available on both Createspace and on Amazon.com.
As many know, this is has been a VERY long road for me. I started this novel over twenty years ago, and have raised two children, received three black belts in different martial arts, got married again, had another baby, and nearly died, all in that timeframe. There were many times where I thought it to be an impossible undertaking, that I did not have the time, skill, or patience necessary to see it through, but somehow, never managed to lose hope, and now I can finally say I am an indie author.
So please, feel free to check out my book, and leave a review!

Proof Review Time

I’ve received what should be the final proof copy of Highway Hypnosis. The cover and print style is more than satisfactory, and barring any pagination or unexpected errors, I should be able to approve the proof once it has been proofread. I have a proofreader, and they will be going through the copy line by line to ensure that the book is of the highest quality I can deliver before release.
After so much time, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel for this project, and feel confident enough to start working on my second novel – a story that involves the point where spirituality, string theory, and quantum mechanics meet – all within a dark suspense framework.
I’ll post the results of the proofreading when it is completed, and the site will be updated accordingly to make the print version available directly through the site.
So, until next time…

~Namaste

It’s Proof Time! (Again)

After finding a number of things in the last version of the manuscript for my novel, I went back to the drawing board — again — to hammer out some editing issues that desperately needed attention. This process required me to go through the manuscript in its entirety several times, until I had what I felt, and still feel, is the best version of the story that I could make. It wasn’t just grammatical issues that I had to contend with; editing is a tedious process, and there were many places where I felt the wording or descriptions were lacking, and I did my best to fix those, without losing the pace of the story. This novel has been a long (too long some would say) hard road for me, and after all that effort, I did not want to put out anything less than what I felt was the best of my ability. This included the cover design, description, and even the author bio. These all required several revisions, and each revision had to be reviewed before I could move forward, and this added several months to the overall project.
This is my first novel. There were bound to be mistakes, and I made them — plenty of them. But, I learned as much as could on every occasion, and have vowed to not repeat them as much as humanly possible. I believe that my further releases will not take anywhere near as long to bring to light as my first. I hope not, because if it does, I won’t live long enough to write more than another book or two.
Yes, it’s been that long.
But, after more rewrites and edits than I can count, a complete revision of the cover (I went from a hand-painted version to a more photographic look), and several edits of the description, which appears on the back cover, I am finally satisfied. That means it’s proof time again, and I’ll be sending off for one within the next few days. I have already reviewed the interior, and am happy with the typesetting, font, and so on, and this proof will be mainly for the quality of the cover image. If it looks good, I’ll finally be releasing it within the next week to ten days. I’ll be updating my blog as soon as this occurs, naturally.
Then, I’ll be able to sit back and relax…not.
Actually, I’ll be able to use all the time I used to spend on this novel, to write and edit my second novel, which has been screaming to be let loose into the world for the last couple of years. I’ve gone so far as completing most of the outline, several character bios, and have written about a hundred pages of the first draft.
Again, I’ll be posting more as the project continues.
But for now, I am finally done writing a story that has taken so many years to see the light of day. With any luck at all, I am only a proof away from publication.
Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer.
Until next time,

~Namaste

Revised E-Book Now Available

The revised E-book version of Highway Hypnosis, my first novel length tale of horror, is now available at Smashwords.com. This edition has been thoroughly edited, and is only $4.99 for 177k words worth of scary goodness, so download your copy today.
You know you want to…
The print edition should be available next week. I will post purchasing details as soon as it is finished.