Sometimes

sometimes this little soul just wants to break free
of all the chains encompassing me
sometimes it just wants to dance and to sing
at the dawn of a day and the chances it brings

other times it wants to run and hide away
from the same old thing, just another day
no revelations, just more of the same
a toss of the dice, in a boring game

sometimes this little heart just wants to know love,
a warmth of emotion that fits like a glove,
sometimes it just wants to feel that need,
to find a way to heal, and not to bleed

At times this life is less than it seems
or perhaps I just live beyond my means
but I keep going on even despite those things
despite all the pain and lonliness it brings

For all those times and more times to come
they’re all we have, until all is done
I’ll reflect on those times, both good and bad,
as being all there was, those times we had

At times I’ll stop and Ill shed some tears
at all the memories of those far ago years
I’ll savor those times, the many and the few,
all those moments I got to spend with you

Just a little something I came up with on the ride home. Sometimes ideas come from out of nowhere, when you least suspect it.

Saying Goodbye to 2017

As 2017 comes to a close, I have to say I won’t miss it. I had high hopes for this year, not the least of which would be that it was better than the previous one, but sadly, this fell short, despite everything that I did manage to accomplish. It’s been a hard year, both financially and emotionally, and the past 365 days have left their mark.
Anyone following my writing, my blog, or other social media pages, will know that I haven’t written anything new since publishing my first novel, Highway Hypnosis. In the course of the last year, I switched jobs, going from a technician position to a manager of a retail store (not my particular skill set, as well as finding a new place to live and subsequent moving activity. I’ve been busy rebuilding my art website while this was going on, a slow process now that I spend over 60 hours a week in a soul-killing position, while also tending to family obligations.
Some of these tasks I’ve managed to accomplish with ease; some have been hard-won, and others are still to be determined. The past year has been particularly hard on me emotionally, as events from past years have snowballed to yeti proportions, and I’ve been doing my utmost to deal with those events with as much calm and dexterity as I can muster. This has not been anywhere near as successful as I would have liked – my time away from actively pursuing my martial arts has eroded the careful discipline such continued practice brings, and this has caused me to fall below my own standards of behavior on more than one occasion (and with those, their own share of regret).
So, in short, not a particularly satisfying year. Any occasion where I spend more time tearing down and moving, rather than building toward the present and the future, is wasted time, in my opinion, and I hate wasting time.
I’d like to say that I have hope for 2018, but were I to ask the Magic 8-Ball about the promise of the coming year, the results would likely be “prospects do not look good”. Why? For one, I don’t have time to write much these days, and have been fairly depressed on those few occasions where I did. I have become pretty much what I despise in terms of my job, and am living in uncertain times when it comes to almost every aspect of my life. I haven’t marketed either my novella or my novel, and have no idea when I’ll be able to start writing again. I need to find a way to move closer to the life I’ve wanted all these years, not farther away, and definitely do not need to tear down my life and start over yet again. No, I have to make some fundamental changes for the better in the year to come, and have some persistent problems resolve themselves before I declare any hope for the days to come. Universe – the ball is in your court.

Until next time –

~Namaste

The Perils of Perfectionism

I have always been something of a perfectionist, even when said perfection is obviously unachievable. This is especially true for my creative ventures, and whenever I discover something new, I have a tendency to go back and apply that new knowledge to old projects as well as new ones. Due to this, and the notes supplied to me by my beta-reader, Highway Hypnosis is currently unavailable in paperback. I have already revised the manuscript of several small but personally annoying errors, and will be re-releasing the novel within a few days. I’ll be sure to post as soon as it is available again.

Tim next time,

~Namaste

First Paperback Release!

My first novel, Highway Hypnosis, has finally been released! It is now available on both Createspace and on Amazon.com.
As many know, this is has been a VERY long road for me. I started this novel over twenty years ago, and have raised two children, received three black belts in different martial arts, got married again, had another baby, and nearly died, all in that timeframe. There were many times where I thought it to be an impossible undertaking, that I did not have the time, skill, or patience necessary to see it through, but somehow, never managed to lose hope, and now I can finally say I am an indie author.
So please, feel free to check out my book, and leave a review!

Proof Review Time

I’ve received what should be the final proof copy of Highway Hypnosis. The cover and print style is more than satisfactory, and barring any pagination or unexpected errors, I should be able to approve the proof once it has been proofread. I have a proofreader, and they will be going through the copy line by line to ensure that the book is of the highest quality I can deliver before release.
After so much time, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel for this project, and feel confident enough to start working on my second novel – a story that involves the point where spirituality, string theory, and quantum mechanics meet – all within a dark suspense framework.
I’ll post the results of the proofreading when it is completed, and the site will be updated accordingly to make the print version available directly through the site.
So, until next time…

~Namaste

It’s Proof Time! (Again)

After finding a number of things in the last version of the manuscript for my novel, I went back to the drawing board — again — to hammer out some editing issues that desperately needed attention. This process required me to go through the manuscript in its entirety several times, until I had what I felt, and still feel, is the best version of the story that I could make. It wasn’t just grammatical issues that I had to contend with; editing is a tedious process, and there were many places where I felt the wording or descriptions were lacking, and I did my best to fix those, without losing the pace of the story. This novel has been a long (too long some would say) hard road for me, and after all that effort, I did not want to put out anything less than what I felt was the best of my ability. This included the cover design, description, and even the author bio. These all required several revisions, and each revision had to be reviewed before I could move forward, and this added several months to the overall project.
This is my first novel. There were bound to be mistakes, and I made them — plenty of them. But, I learned as much as could on every occasion, and have vowed to not repeat them as much as humanly possible. I believe that my further releases will not take anywhere near as long to bring to light as my first. I hope not, because if it does, I won’t live long enough to write more than another book or two.
Yes, it’s been that long.
But, after more rewrites and edits than I can count, a complete revision of the cover (I went from a hand-painted version to a more photographic look), and several edits of the description, which appears on the back cover, I am finally satisfied. That means it’s proof time again, and I’ll be sending off for one within the next few days. I have already reviewed the interior, and am happy with the typesetting, font, and so on, and this proof will be mainly for the quality of the cover image. If it looks good, I’ll finally be releasing it within the next week to ten days. I’ll be updating my blog as soon as this occurs, naturally.
Then, I’ll be able to sit back and relax…not.
Actually, I’ll be able to use all the time I used to spend on this novel, to write and edit my second novel, which has been screaming to be let loose into the world for the last couple of years. I’ve gone so far as completing most of the outline, several character bios, and have written about a hundred pages of the first draft.
Again, I’ll be posting more as the project continues.
But for now, I am finally done writing a story that has taken so many years to see the light of day. With any luck at all, I am only a proof away from publication.
Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer.
Until next time,

~Namaste

Revised E-Book Now Available

The revised E-book version of Highway Hypnosis, my first novel length tale of horror, is now available at Smashwords.com. This edition has been thoroughly edited, and is only $4.99 for 177k words worth of scary goodness, so download your copy today.
You know you want to…
The print edition should be available next week. I will post purchasing details as soon as it is finished.

Writing Update – August 12,2016

I am currently working on several creative projects. In addition to new works of painted furniture that I create for Reincarnations Painted Furniture, I have been working on editing out the errors I found in my manuscript for Highway Hypnosis. I am about a third of the way through what will be the last edit, and I will once again be making the book available in both print and e-book formats. I have also completed the layout for the last painted illustration for the book, and will be making prints available sometime in the near future.
Being both an artist and writer, I have to juggle these various creative projects around a full-time job, as well the normal day-to-day errands and housework. I’ve also had to deal with the stress and other factors caused by the inept legal system in North Carolina (something I will be writing upon in length after the ordeal is over), and this has also played a part in delaying the final editing and publishing of my first novel. With any luck, a major part of that will be put behind me next Tuesday, and I can get on with a more normal life. Normal for a writer/artist, anyway. Combined, these activities—the writing, painting, editing, and normal life maintenance—give me about a 18-19 hour work day, seven days a week. In my life, there is never time to be bored, or a lack of things that have to be done. Fortunately for me, my job currently allows me to work on some of my creative projects in between my normal job duties, and thus I expect to be able to complete both the painted furniture, as well as the final revision of my manuscript, on time.
Of course, the publication of the novel will not be an end, but merely a beginning. I have several more novels, as well as some short stories, in the pipeline, and I am confident that these projects will take only a fraction of the time compared to this first novel, which for all authors, is a learning process.
So stay tuned – I should have news regarding the release dates of the revised version within the next few weeks.

~Namaste

Time Vs. Creativity

I have several creative projects ongoing at the moment, and the real challenge has been to divide my time between editing, painting, design, and website maintenance. I use my downtime at work to edit my novel, and am at the half-way point at page 205. The final illustration painting for the novel, which will be used in a later promotion, has been fully sketched out and is awaiting painting. Meanwhile, I’ve begun working on three new painted furniture projects. These have been primed, and the designs for them are in the process of being transferred to the table surface for painting. Of these 3 separate endeavors, the illustration will be the easiest, as I have to do now is paint it. Editing requires not only reading and re-writing, but formatting the finished result into both e-book and printed formats, and uploading them to their respective sites. Despite all this, I am shooting to complete all of them by the end of August, so stay tuned!

~Namaste

Just When You Think It’s Over

Just when you think it’s over – you find another reason to edit.
I’m currently editing my novel – again – as the review of my digital proof turned up more items that left me unsatisfied. I’m up to chapter 10, and will post more news as I progress. I’d like to be able to announce a final publication date, but I’m engaged in several enterprises at the moment in addition to working full-time, and the human body can only work so hard before it begins to break down. So, in order to maintain both my physical and mental health, I do my best not to overwork myself in any one direction.
Still, I’m hoping to finish my last edit within the next few weeks, and will releasing both the e-book and print editions at that time.
I’ve learned much in the process of creating this first novel, and will be sure to streamline the process for future works. Editing is the most important (and most tedious) part of the writing process, and as I am a perfectionist, will continue that process as many times as necessary to ensure the best possible result. I’ve worked on this novel for a long time, and refuse to release anything that does not meet my standards in terms of format and editing.
In other writing news, I’ve been working on a new novel, which I hope to release by the end of the year, as well as a short story that will be included in a later collection. More details are forthcoming, so be sure to visit often!
Until next time, I hope all my watchers are having a glorious summer.

~Namaste