I’ve written previously about how there was something inside of me, something I had never been able to pin down, something that had haunted me throughout my entire life, but I picked it almost subconsciously, not really thinking about the implications. I certainly never knew, despite the occasional flash of insight, and regardless of near constant introspection, of just what it was, or how deep it ran. It took meeting my wife, and her insights, to make me aware of issues that I had been suffering from since childhood. It affected every area of my life, and I was foolishly ignorant of the symptoms, and even more so the cause. It intruded into her life as well, and though it caused her so much pain, threatened to pull us apart forever, she somehow found the strength and the means to finally make me aware, to wake me up to how much I need to rid myself of it forever, for me, for her, and for our family.
She is amazing, my wife. Anyone else would have given up on me long ago; god knows everyone else did, but even though she found it necessary to protect herself, she somehow has held onto the good parts she sees in me, and continues to do what she can to help me in my darkest hour. I want to thank her for this, for her love, for her tenacity, and for being the one person that could, and has, made all the difference.
Thank you, Dragonfly, for being all those things and more. Without you, I would never have seen the truth, would still be unaware of just how much I affected not only myself, but everyone around me. Thank you for being honest, for being there in those moments where I was ready to give up, for just being you.
There will coma day when my demons are slain, when I can once again be completely free, to love and be loved, to enjoy the life I was meant to have It will a happy, glorious day when I do so, and it is all because of someone who I can never thank enough, who is beyond description, and who I love with all my heart. I hope that when that day comes, those who follow my blog will celebrate; it will mark a new chapter in my life, one I know will be filled with all the things I have been denied for so long.
I wish you all well, and hope that if you have demons, that you find a way to slay them once and for all.