Every year, on August 5th, I try to reflect, and sometimes celebrate, my continued existence. In 2002, I was the victim of a near-fatal automobile accident in which I was ejected through the sun-roof of an SUV that was flipping over at 40+ mph. This time each year, I write about that event, how it affected me and changed my perceptions on life, and my reflections on that subject through that new perspective.
This marks the fourteenth year since that day, and this year has been harder to write about than most. The last few years have not been kind, and have tested both my spirit and my patience to its limit. I’ve been forced to suffer the height of injustice several times in the last few years, and these in turn have darkened my perspective on both my future and the state of society in general. These ordeals are not yet over, and the effects of them will stay with me for quite some time, possibly even for the rest of my life. I’ve learned to deal with the physical hardships; living with chronic pain every day due to the injuries I received has given me little choice in that regard. No, it’s the insults to my character and integrity that I have difficulty dealing with. Due to circumstances way beyond my ability to control, and the incompetence on the part of law enforcement in North Carolina, there are those close to me that have been given a skewed, false impression as to who I really am, and this more than anything else has caused me deep inner pain and grief. I have built my character around the concepts of truth, honesty, and loyalty, and when these are questioned by those with no qualifications to do so, it gets my under my skin.
Each year, around this time, I make a Life Determination, based on the previous year, similar to those most do on New Year’s, only with more conviction and sincerity than a mere resolution. This year, I have decided that no longer allow the opinions of these people affect me. Life is simply too short and fragile to waste time on things. I will do nothing to correct those false impressions other than to continue living my life as I have – with honor and personal integrity. In time, the truth of these matters will be shown, and Karma will perform its function. Truth exists despite the best efforts of others to obfuscate, twist, distort, or deny it. Eventually, it makes itself known, and when the day comes for me to face the dark, I will face it with my integrity intact.