My Dearest Michelle,
I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. I wish more than anything I could be spending it with you, and even more so that you would want to share it with me. I would have made you breakfast in bed, and done my best to give you a special weekend.
I got you a card, and picked up a couple inexpensive outfits for Savannah. The card does not say everything I want to say – I doubt one exists, and I don’t have the space like I used to to make one for you. I hope that changes in the near future. I wanted to get you some clothes, but I don’t know either of your sizes at present, so I just got her a few outfits, and a little toy. Don’t worry – there’s not a sappy, sixteen page letter waiting for you in the card. Just one sentence about how I feel for you.
I also got you and Savannah a gift card so you two could have some fun time together. I know every day is pretty much magic with our little one, but I wanted to give you two something, and that is what I came up with, since she is too young to skydive. I don’t have a lot of cash, but I figured it would be better than a blouse or jewelry.
And I want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I am this age. I wish I wasn’t. I don’t feel my age, especially when I am with you and Savannah. I”m sorry I don’t excite you like I used to. I’m sorry that you feel you have to push me away. I always have forgiven you for everything, because to me, you have always been worth the struggle, worth whatever I had to go through in order to have such a woman in my life. You are the woman of my dreams, and always will be. I’m sorry for anything and everything that made me less in your eyes, if I ever had a real place at all. I hope I did. I’d like to believe that, for even a short time, I was special to you.
I hope you have a wonderful day today. I hope you hold your daughter close and let her know she is loved. I secretly hope you will stop by my work long enough to pick up your present, but I will do my best to get it to JoAnn’s after work, because…reality. I hope you were able to go skydiving again and that you will accept my gifts to you both. I want to do more, and will keep trying my best.
Happy Birthday. I miss you, and I love you.